- What goes up must come down (and vice versa)
Before being diagnosed with lupus, I was in a lot of pain. Multiple doctors and traditional medicine practitioners did not know what caused it nor how to get rid of it. It was what a school teacher, Mr Dennis, said during a Dharma talk that kept me going through that dark period. “What goes up must come down”.
It resonated with me because I realized that I believed that I wouldn’t be in pain forever. I realized that I knew that I was going to find an answer, that I just had to be patient.
So, getting diagnosed was quite bittersweet. Sweet because the pain and the helplessness of the situation that the pain put me in was finally lifted. And bitter because I learned that lupus is something that I will have to live with forever. Talk about an arranged marriage.
Now that I had come up, obviously I didn’t stay there forever. For the past 4 years (Wow! It’s Lupus and mine’s 4 years anniversary!), I have gone down the roller coaster of lupus AND life more than a few times now, but with every dip, I have learned to be more patient in waiting for the good part to come. Life may suck at the moment, perhaps even more for you than the people around you, but things will get better. Sometimes it’ll take only a few days for things to start looking up, and things may look bleak when it takes up to months or even years, but just as what goes up must come down, what goes down must come up too. It’s just a matter of waiting. So while you’re at it, try to focus on the less sucky parts.
Recently, with my friends and I smack dab in the middle of the whirlpool that is IB sem 4 plus so many other changes that came with the move to TU, there have been many times where I felt really down, lonely and stuck. During those times, it feels like despite the past one and a half years that I have spent learning so much in IB, I’m still not progressing as much as I would like to and that I’m still the same person as I was before IB (in a bad way). However, it’s times like these that I have to remind myself that the things that I am doing to better myself everyday are not in vain. As long as I am working towards a better me, I am becoming a better me. No matter how fast everyone is going.