Sem 2 and what not

So if you didn’t know yet (although I wouldn’t blame you as I never really publicly announced my enrollment bc I didn’t want to come across as arrogant bc I’m only doing this programme bc of the JPA bursary wow that’s a lot of bc) , I’m currently feeling my way through Sem 2 of the IBDP at TCSH.

There, I said it. Lol.

Why I said ‘feeling my way’ is bc I’ve come up with sort of a metaphor on how progressing into Sem 2 is. Sem 1 is like walking into a brightly-lit room for the first time. Everything you see is new and fresh and exciting and it’s easy to move around (brightly-lit) bc there’re teachers and seniors to show you the way. And there’s nothing hidden, everything’s clear and direct, from lessons to new friendships.

And then Sem 2 starts and it’s like someone just flicked the light switch off. Suddenly, it’s pitch black as acronyms and terms (IAs,EEs, datelines, research question,manage your time) increasingly make their way into your hearing range. But even as you hear more of them, you still have no idea what to do with/about them and at this time, your eyes haven’t adjusted to the lack of light in the room so you’re taking baby steps with your hands outstretched.

As time passes and these acronyms and terms become almost like a dark cloud/voice that looms over your head at all times and will only disappear if you complete them, which if you’re efficient will be at the end of this year, everything that you do that does not contribute to the progress of these tasks will land you in guilt. And at this point you sort of have an idea of what you have to do to get the job done and your eyes have adjusted to the darkness so now you’re not so much in the dark anymore (aye) but none of it is clear yet.

And that’s all I have bc that’s my current situation. What a metaphor huh

Tbh this post was supposed to be about memories I can/want to rmb from high school that ended more than a year ago, if I can even rmb any. And then after I’m done with that, more posts on memories I want to rmb from college. “Whaaaaat it’s only Sem 2” you might say but that was me in Sem 1 and look how fast we got to Sem 2. With all the work rushing in like tidal waves, I bet it’ll be graduation before we even have the time to think about spending enough time tgt before parting ways.

Tho will it ever be enough

Looks like I’ll do the memories thing next time.

Feb 24th

I feel more than a little better today 🙂 This morning in Physics, I didn’t face much difficulty answering the questions on waves (which I missed many lessons of due to my hospitalization)  and I even managed to give the correct answer to a question most of my friends were struggling with (maybe they didn’t know the answer maybe they needed more time anyway I got it right first so they can suck it I’m jk love y’all)P

And then there was Econs. If you know me, you’d know that I’m not the best at presentations or public speaking. I tend to use notes a lot bc speaking in front of an audience makes me nervous which’ll make me forget everything I have memorized (which isn’t the best prep method to start with)

But today, with only about 20 min of discussion prior the presentation, I managed to talk about inflation quite comprehensively, I’d like to believe :-). At the beginning of this course, I was very lost in discussions such as this one bc of my economics-lacking academic background and I’d often find myself just listening to my teammates discuss, trying to absorb as much of this new knowledge as possible. But today, I  actually contributed to the presentation topic and went on to present it.

And then as I was eating lunch before Eng Lit, I was asked through text to replace my friend who was supposed to present later. Since my slides were done, I said yes. I was intending to try presenting without notes and Ms.Navina after her anyway. But this change in chances just confirmed to me that I AM meant to do this today. So at last period, I presented my topic without notes. I felt really happy afterwards.

Although these accomplishments are small, insignificant, and even non-existent in some people’s life , they are nonetheless accomplishments to me and I’d take it any day.

How it all started

Scrolling, raking my eyes over the words backed/surrounded by the white light of my laptop screen, trying to process them as quick as I can because it’s getting late and there’s just SO MUCH content, too good to be put on hold for another day.

I read and read and read. And how relieved(?), glad, excited I am about how much I am able to relate to this girl. It really seems like she’s got it all figured out, sorting her posts into what those people would think are pretentious names for mere categories but got me all curious and gave me a moment of “Why didn’t I think of that?” Reading as many posts as I can, they reminded me of myself (tho I wish i was half as good of a writer as she is) and my thoughts when I first started this blog. More precisely, not the thoughts when i started this blog, but the thoughts that made me want to start this blog.

I remember. I remember that I used to think about all sorts of things that i cannot simply categorise for you right now but for further understanding, simply drop by her blog to see for yourself what i mean. And for some reason, perhaps college, maybe the dwindling of initial enthusiasm, but I haven’t been having thoughts of that sort for a while now. And getting this peek into the inner workings of her mind and heart and possibly even soul, I realised how much I miss the eagerness and uncertainty that more often than not came along with those thoughts. I would find myself wondering about random things, wondering if other people wondered about those same things, wondering if they wondered if other people wondered about the same things as they did and so the cycle continues. And i feel like this is a constant with me because I’m always playing this reverse psychology game with myself and imagining beforehand how conversations would take place. How this relates to me having those random thoughts is that I go round and round in my head about how things can play out, the possibilities are endless,really.

Back to the topic (tho I never really went off-topic, just elaborated a tad bit more than necessary), now, the reason why I started this blog in the first place fresh in my mind, I am low key excited and hopeful that more of these thoughts will come and along with them the time to pen them down.

odette | of love & truth

why do we differentiate between different types of love? I feel like unnecessary complications arise because of this categorical approach we seem to take when dissecting our emotions — the classic question: do you like him/her or like likehim/her? I hate having to organise my feelings as if they’re sostraightforward, as if emotions are scientific & rational. what is up with this societal pressure to clearly distinguish my attractions? why do I have to decide if what I’m feeling is romantic attraction or intensely platonic fondness if I can’t actually properly tell? why are there so many different types of love? can’t I just love you?

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