Since it is only week 2 since the start of the programme last week on the 13th of July 2016, I’m still able to title this post as ‘week 2’. But as time goes by, I probably won’t bother to check the calendar to see how much time has passed. Therefore, we’ll hopefully see more creative titles 👌
So, week 2. Bear in mind, this is only the first week of classes because all last week was orientation and integration. And what got me starting to type this on my phone at 1am lying in my bed when I have an 8.30 class tomorrow morning is how I kept thinking back to a concept(?) in a book I read by John Green called Will Grayson,Will Grayson. The characters in the book were discussing about epiphanies and whether they believe in them or not,which made me wonder if I’ll ever get an epiphany, my own moment of “Eureka!”. I wondered what that epiphany would be about, what I’d come to realize so suddenly it’s almost stupid that I never noticed it before.
Thinking about a TOK presentation my class has to do tommorow explaining our worldview, I realized that I don’t feel as anxious and intimidated as I did on the last day of integration when we had to do public speaking, just last Friday. Maybe it was the fact that I am undeniably more prepared for the presentation tommorow than I was for the public speaking but I’d like to think that something inside me is shifting too. The idea of sharing all these thoughts and ideas in my head was so exciting that the excitement and eagerness almost, ALMOST cancelled out the nerves.
Having just joined the Jog For Hope committee, I also have to do some promoting to get more people to sign up for the jogathon. I got an idea to get up on stage of my old school during morning assembly to get the word out there. And before this, when I was still a secondary student, going up on that stage to talk seemed so preposterous. Even when I had the opportunities to present for stuff@school, I didn’t because I didn’t think I could and I was too afraid. But now, imagining myself walking up those steps to the podium, my voice booming through the speakers because I dont know how loud my voice would translate over the mic and speakers, apologizing for the sound and lowering my voice,doing the promotion and walking off stage to a round of applause, I feel like there wasn’t a time before this that I can say that I felt as confident as I do now. Maybe it’s me being a senior to most of the audience and feeling slightly superior, or maybe it’s IB doing its job 😊
And this is where my epiphany comes in. So what if it’s not a moment of great realisation? I wish I would wake up one day feeling at my peak, like I could do anything in the world, but I think it’s a work in progress with little epiphanies everyday (if there’s even such a thing). That ought to be good enough.
Of memories, feelings and unspoken words 