To 2018

What. A. Year. 🙂

2017 has been the best and worst year of my life. Too many moments that I want to remember, but the human mind can only take so much. Photos aren’t really that great either, electronic devices can run out of memory or just die on us anytime. Words… after going so long without reading just for pleasure, I can’t seem to find them anymore. In cases like this, lists often come to the rescue. Still, so sorry for the horrible language. I think I’ll start with a list of firsts (and some lasts marked with a *)  that happened in 2017 (in no particular order).

  1. Being in the ICU and getting a seizure*.
  2. Being in a coma (induced)*.
  3. Going clubbing.
  4. Weighing 45kg.
  5. Going and enjoying myself at a jazz festival.
  6. Watching Boorenda bb do spoken word.
  7. Wearing a long dress to prom.
  8. Doing a body shot (of water) off someone.
  9. Completing the Viper Challenge.
  10. Feeling romantic love!! (I THINK, BC IT WAS A DREAM).
  11. Ice skating.
  12. Threading my brows and getting a manicure.
  13. Buying a pair of boots.
  14. Crying over school-related matters.
  15. Shopping online.
  16. Flying (cheer) since 2012/2013.
  17. SAT test* and French oral assessment.
  18. Watching a depressed friend being suicidal.
  19. Dressing up for Halloween. (as Sandy from Grease)

Cheers to 2018. Really excited for this one. 

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pills

Whenever I used to fall sick,
Which was not very often,
I never took pills,
I trusted my immunity with all my heart,

Whenever I fall sick now,
Which was still not very often,
I take 5 new pills,
So I guess the lesson is to never fully trust,
For he took my heart and ripped it apart.

 

How it all started

Scrolling, raking my eyes over the words backed/surrounded by the white light of my laptop screen, trying to process them as quick as I can because it’s getting late and there’s just SO MUCH content, too good to be put on hold for another day.

I read and read and read. And how relieved(?), glad, excited I am about how much I am able to relate to this girl. It really seems like she’s got it all figured out, sorting her posts into what those people would think are pretentious names for mere categories but got me all curious and gave me a moment of “Why didn’t I think of that?” Reading as many posts as I can, they reminded me of myself (tho I wish i was half as good of a writer as she is) and my thoughts when I first started this blog. More precisely, not the thoughts when i started this blog, but the thoughts that made me want to start this blog.

I remember. I remember that I used to think about all sorts of things that i cannot simply categorise for you right now but for further understanding, simply drop by her blog to see for yourself what i mean. And for some reason, perhaps college, maybe the dwindling of initial enthusiasm, but I haven’t been having thoughts of that sort for a while now. And getting this peek into the inner workings of her mind and heart and possibly even soul, I realised how much I miss the eagerness and uncertainty that more often than not came along with those thoughts. I would find myself wondering about random things, wondering if other people wondered about those same things, wondering if they wondered if other people wondered about the same things as they did and so the cycle continues. And i feel like this is a constant with me because I’m always playing this reverse psychology game with myself and imagining beforehand how conversations would take place. How this relates to me having those random thoughts is that I go round and round in my head about how things can play out, the possibilities are endless,really.

Back to the topic (tho I never really went off-topic, just elaborated a tad bit more than necessary), now, the reason why I started this blog in the first place fresh in my mind, I am low key excited and hopeful that more of these thoughts will come and along with them the time to pen them down.

odette | of love & truth

why do we differentiate between different types of love? I feel like unnecessary complications arise because of this categorical approach we seem to take when dissecting our emotions — the classic question: do you like him/her or like likehim/her? I hate having to organise my feelings as if they’re sostraightforward, as if emotions are scientific & rational. what is up with this societal pressure to clearly distinguish my attractions? why do I have to decide if what I’m feeling is romantic attraction or intensely platonic fondness if I can’t actually properly tell? why are there so many different types of love? can’t I just love you?

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