odette | of love & truth

why do we differentiate between different types of love? I feel like unnecessary complications arise because of this categorical approach we seem to take when dissecting our emotions — the classic question: do you like him/her or like likehim/her? I hate having to organise my feelings as if they’re sostraightforward, as if emotions are scientific & rational. what is up with this societal pressure to clearly distinguish my attractions? why do I have to decide if what I’m feeling is romantic attraction or intensely platonic fondness if I can’t actually properly tell? why are there so many different types of love? can’t I just love you?

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Little Things

I had the answer that no one else had to a math proving question today.Maybe they did have the answer, but I voiced out mine. Too bad, it’s mine.

Anyway, although hesitant and doubtful, I had the answer to a Math PROVING question today. And DAMN did it felt good. Even now, approximately 5 hours after that almost fleeting moment of pride and joy, it is still a mixture of emotions-pride,disbelief,joy,wonder,fear when I replay the moment in my head.

This is not the first time I have been able to give a correct answer/idea in Math class because I have been slowly getting better at Math (hopefully) in the past month or two. But what made this time special was the fact that I knew what to do after that first idea to kick off proving the formula. When Mr.K asked me for the next step, I KNEW what to say. Whereas all the times before, I just curled up in my seat and stuttered in surrender “I don’t know…it was just a guess!” as Mr.K looked at me with his hopeful and expectant eyes.

So, that was the highlight of my day. It might be little, but it’s impact on me was anything but that.

Mid sem!

6 weeks (?) in (IB) and I have so much to share but no words and no starting point.

I have been told twice in the past week that listing is a great tool, so I’ll try that.

  1. Blessed. I feel so, so blessed to have made this choice. The people I am surrounded with almost 24/7 ,they are out of this world. They are the weirdest,nicest,smartest, loudest,funniest,most genuine,talented,supportive,caring and understanding mix of people I have ever had the privilege of calling friends. They make me want to be better.  
  2. Delighted. The amount of learning I do (academics,yoga,people,cooking) ,it’s behind my contentment when I go back to my condo unit everyday.
  3. Overwhelmed.  IAs, EEs,TOKs and every other relevant acronym you can come up with are only due in Sem 3 but all I hear now is “START EARLY” How am I to start when I don’t know where or what to start.
  4. Psyched. Two years seem so much, yet it feels like time’s slipping past my fingers. I dread the end of the next two years (life has been nothing short of amazing), although I don’t know how I am going to cope before I can think about graduating.
  5. Motivated. Literally no one said that it was/is going to be easy, but I chose this anyway. And now, balance is all I need to remain intact.

My heart is so full and alive.