I feel more than a little better today 🙂 This morning in Physics, I didn’t face much difficulty answering the questions on waves (which I missed many lessons of due to my hospitalization) and I even managed to give the correct answer to a question most of my friends were struggling with (maybe they didn’t know the answer maybe they needed more time anyway I got it right first so they can suck it I’m jk love y’all)P
And then there was Econs. If you know me, you’d know that I’m not the best at presentations or public speaking. I tend to use notes a lot bc speaking in front of an audience makes me nervous which’ll make me forget everything I have memorized (which isn’t the best prep method to start with)
But today, with only about 20 min of discussion prior the presentation, I managed to talk about inflation quite comprehensively, I’d like to believe :-). At the beginning of this course, I was very lost in discussions such as this one bc of my economics-lacking academic background and I’d often find myself just listening to my teammates discuss, trying to absorb as much of this new knowledge as possible. But today, I actually contributed to the presentation topic and went on to present it.
And then as I was eating lunch before Eng Lit, I was asked through text to replace my friend who was supposed to present later. Since my slides were done, I said yes. I was intending to try presenting without notes and Ms.Navina after her anyway. But this change in chances just confirmed to me that I AM meant to do this today. So at last period, I presented my topic without notes. I felt really happy afterwards.
Although these accomplishments are small, insignificant, and even non-existent in some people’s life , they are nonetheless accomplishments to me and I’d take it any day.
Scrolling, raking my eyes over the words backed/surrounded by the white light of my laptop screen, trying to process them as quick as I can because it’s getting late and there’s just SO MUCH content, too good to be put on hold for another day.
I read and read and read. And how relieved(?), glad, excited I am about how much I am able to relate to this girl. It really seems like she’s got it all figured out, sorting her posts into what those people would think are pretentious names for mere categories but got me all curious and gave me a moment of “Why didn’t I think of that?” Reading as many posts as I can, they reminded me of myself (tho I wish i was half as good of a writer as she is) and my thoughts when I first started this blog. More precisely, not the thoughts when i started this blog, but the thoughts that made me want to start this blog.
I remember. I remember that I used to think about all sorts of things that i cannot simply categorise for you right now but for further understanding, simply drop by her blog to see for yourself what i mean. And for some reason, perhaps college, maybe the dwindling of initial enthusiasm, but I haven’t been having thoughts of that sort for a while now. And getting this peek into the inner workings of her mind and heart and possibly even soul, I realised how much I miss the eagerness and uncertainty that more often than not came along with those thoughts. I would find myself wondering about random things, wondering if other people wondered about those same things, wondering if they wondered if other people wondered about the same things as they did and so the cycle continues. And i feel like this is a constant with me because I’m always playing this reverse psychology game with myself and imagining beforehand how conversations would take place. How this relates to me having those random thoughts is that I go round and round in my head about how things can play out, the possibilities are endless,really.
Back to the topic (tho I never really went off-topic, just elaborated a tad bit more than necessary), now, the reason why I started this blog in the first place fresh in my mind, I am low key excited and hopeful that more of these thoughts will come and along with them the time to pen them down.
I had the answer that no one else had to a math proving question today.Maybe they did have the answer, but I voiced out mine. Too bad, it’s mine.
Anyway, although hesitant and doubtful, I had the answer to a Math PROVING question today. And DAMN did it felt good. Even now, approximately 5 hours after that almost fleeting moment of pride and joy, it is still a mixture of emotions-pride,disbelief,joy,wonder,fear when I replay the moment in my head.
This is not the first time I have been able to give a correct answer/idea in Math class because I have been slowly getting better at Math (hopefully) in the past month or two. But what made this time special was the fact that I knew what to do after that first idea to kick off proving the formula. When Mr.K asked me for the next step, I KNEW what to say. Whereas all the times before, I just curled up in my seat and stuttered in surrender “I don’t know…it was just a guess!” as Mr.K looked at me with his hopeful and expectant eyes.
So, that was the highlight of my day. It might be little, but it’s impact on me was anything but that.